I'm an Insurance Crab

fun fact: I am a master at finding free samples of condoms and lubes online

…what? I’m more sexually active than I thought I’d be, so I didn’t really stock up, and I figure, hey, it’s free, why don’t I try a few brands and see what works best for all involved, right? Also, broke college kid problems.

Especially with my synethesia. Being a synnie is hard, okay? It makes make up hard, tea, candles, if it has a scent, I have to be prepared. Sob.

But no, I am weirdly good at things like this. I don’t know why. I just learned I am.

If I was a villain what kind of villain would I be?

myramylove:

I don’t think I can do any of these.

There’s A Lake Where You Can Swim With Jellyfish That Won’t Sting You

alejandrostravel:

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There is a magical lake in the Rock Islands of Palau where you can swim with the jellyfish worry-free.

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The lake became a tourist attraction and people can go swimming and snorkeling with them.

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The jellyfish lost their stingers over the years because they don’t need them to fight off predators.

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Learn more about the land of friendly, magical jellyfish.

distressed pip noises

onemoredaytoanewbeginning:

lol flashmobbing at generals’ funerals is so cool

only 1832 kids will understand this

fuckingrecipes:

djinnanddragons:

by-arde:

sO

i WAS MELTING SOME CHOCOLATE IN THE MICROWAVE

AND I TOOK IT OUT TO CHECK ON IT

AND FOR WHATEVER REASON

I DECIDED THAT THE BEST WAY TO CHECK IF IT WAS MELTED OR NOT WAS TO HOLD THE BOWL UP TO MY EAR

AND  LISTEN TO IT

what the actual fuck was that supposed to accomplish

It was obviously to see if it was still screaming or if it had finally died

THE SCREAMS ARE FAINT, ONLY THE MOST POWERFUL CAN STILL HEAR THEM. 

heichousan:

epiclad:

Another bloody click and drag game!  Silent Hill edition.

on tour, satchel, steel pipe, henry, walter, flashlight

I’m here because family, well fuck you, too
I have no equipment holder
Fighting with a handgun…I’m fucked
I’m travelling with Laura
Walter is my antagonist…good, he needs a high school health education at least
I have shotgun shells in my inventory, wow, helpful

baronvoncreepypasta: *sends you the sandwich I made telepathically*

\O/

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